Have you heard of the “Yeah, But friend” in friendships? This is the type of friend who lives within their problems and continues to bring up the same issues in your conversations. They also have a challenge taking accountability for their actions and problems. The type of conversation when you attempt to add some positive insight and perspective-they hit you with the “Yeah, But”
So, the question is how do we deal with these types of interactions-especially with our close girlfriends. Here are some solution-focused tips to help with healthy communication:
💫 Ask the person- “Do you need me to listen or give advice?”-this can help set the expectations on both ends.
💫 Set Boundaries: Hearing others' problems can be draining. Let your friend know how these types of conversations are impacting you and the friendship. Even hearing a person vent can take a toll on a person. If the relationship is healthy, a simple conversation can shift things going forward.
💫 Don’t be afraid to hold your friend accountable. Saying something as simple as “How is this helping you?” Can shift the conversation from non-productive to productive. Express to the friend that there is a need to have some accountability taken on their part to improve their situation.
💫 Be confident in saying “I can’t help you with this, you may need some professional support “ There’s a fine line between enabling and being supportive. As a friend, you may want to be supportive in the most movement forward way possible, just be cautious you’re not enabling the person either. Keep in mind, friendship trauma is real, and most importantly as in all relationships, you can’t help a person that is not helping themselves first. ~Coach Dani
For insight on how to build healthy relationships- refer to "Rising Phoenix" and see why its called "The definition of growth and transformation"